i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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