You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When are your genitals available?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
