Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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