my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
