OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you still have your period?
Don't make out with my wife yet
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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