Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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