I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
