Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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