Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
