Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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