dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i came on her dog
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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