I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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