i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What a dumb baby whore.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
