You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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