taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
