i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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