There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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