Betty ford says i'm here all night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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