I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
