you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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