someone threw a dead crab at me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
