Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
