the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
