we made out on top of his cat.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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