OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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