WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We have started to decorate penises.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
