I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
