Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
