Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
there was a trapeze. enough said
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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