I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
