yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
