i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
