he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
