he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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