Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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