I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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