I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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