Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
