Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
