I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
