on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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