just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
