I love black thongs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
