my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
