i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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