when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
