the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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