What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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