On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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