Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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